I’ve decided to revamp the Friday Funnies and re-post the guest posts I’ve written for blog tours and such. I may sneak in a few new ones here and there. Since some of the blogs I originally wrote these for have disappeared I thought it might be a good idea to save and re-share the posts here.
I’m sure if you’re reading this blog, you’re probably familiar with my characters by now, so I’ll save you the chore of reading through my intros. For anyone who stumbles across this who is not familiar, basic info on the characters can be found here, a funnier idea of who they are (in GIFs) can be found here, and a book list/buy links can be found here. All character interviews will be tagged that way so they’re easy to find on the blog.
Now–on with the shenanigans! Shiarra is going to tell you about her take on her home turf, New York City. Over to you, Shia!
A little over ten years ago, when people came to New York City on vacation, it was to see the obvious. You know, the Empire State Building, Central Park, catch a Broadway show—that sort of thing.
These days, it’s a little different. Being a local, I can tell you, it didn’t take long for the new breed of tourist to go from baffling to annoying. All the out-of-towners are nuts. They want to go out of their way to eat at a restaurant run by a werewolf, see a magic show put on by a real mage, or rub elbows with vampires at one of Alec Royce’s bars.
The man’s insufferable. Believe me, I know. You don’t want to mess with the Others, let alone sign one of those contracts that lets them get intimate with you. Sure, all the brochures make it look edgy and exciting to see a real, live monster, but there’s the rub. They are monsters. That’s not something you should forget. As soon as you do, that’s when they’ll pounce, and before you know it you’ve signed your life away on the dotted line.
Yeah, yeah, I see your expression. Stop rolling your eyes. I know, you don’t want to hear about the best pizza places or where to get a decent bialy or how to stay alive in this town. You just want to know what to watch out for when you visit all the Other hot spots, right?
If you take one of those tours and visit The Circle’s high-rise in Manhattan, at first you might think it’s just another corporate office building. You might want to recall that people have died trying to escape the traps and labyrinth in the basement where the sparks hide all of their most powerful artifacts. If someone’s offering you a basement-level tour of a mage hideout, don’t stray from the tour guide, huh?
The werewolves aren’t much better. Maybe the Moonwalkers aren’t so bad—that’s the pack that started this mess when they helped pull people out of the rubble of the Twin Towers and exposed the Others—but if you ever run into a Ravenwood or a Sunstriker, do not walk, run in the other direction. No matter what kind of spin the media has put on things, Weres are dangerous. I know they don’t all eat people, but I’ve seen it happen, and I can promise you that it’s better to play it safe by avoiding them altogether.
Plus, you know, some of them are lying scumbags. Especially a certain blond, blue-eyed pack leader who is currently on my shitlist.
I used to think it wasn’t such a big deal to hang out in vamp-run bars, either. Did I mention I’m a private investigator? Quite a few locals are regulars which means—you guessed it—I follow a lot of leads down there to interview people or catch marks in some unsavory act. Tracking cheating spouses by checking out their haunts has led to me spending more than my fair share of time in places like The Underground and Twisted Temptations.
What? Twisted Temptations? Hey, don’t look at me like that. No, I’m not into that whips and chains stuff, I go there for work! And not that kind of work, either! Get your minds out of the gutters, people.
That place is the scariest of the lot. As you probably gathered from the name, it’s got a very “hurt-me-so-good” theme. If you’re into that sort of thing and you’re feeling particularly suicidal that day, well… I’m not judging, but the vampires who work there scare me more than the usual, run of the mill sort who just want to eat me. Twisted Temptations is something else. If you’re going to suck my blood out a bit at a time, it better not be from the whip marks on my back, you know what I’m saying?
Well, that pleasant thought in mind, if I was forced to pick one of the vampire’s clubs to recommend for you touristy types to hang out in, I’m sure you’ve gathered by now that I think you’re better off spending your time at The Underground. The music on the second floor is usually better, but you should buy your drinks from James at the main bar near the entrance. Try the Bloody Mary, it’s killer. Get it? Bloody Mary in a vampire bar? Killer? Yeah, I’ll just see myself out . . .
If you could visit New York in the Other-verse, where would you want to go? Would you rather visit with the werewolves, vampires, or the magi?
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