I’ve decided to revamp the Friday Funnies and re-post the guest posts I’ve written for blog tours and such. I may sneak in a few new ones here and there. Since some of the blogs I originally wrote these for have disappeared I thought it might be a good idea to save and re-share the posts here.
I’m sure if you’re reading this blog, you’re probably familiar with my characters by now, so I’ll save you the chore of reading through my intros. For anyone who stumbles across this who is not familiar, basic info on the characters can be found here, a funnier idea of who they are (in GIFs) can be found here, and a book list/buy links can be found here. All character interviews will be tagged that way so they’re easy to find on the blog.
Now–on with the shenanigans! The H&W Investigations team are going to discuss their memories of summer camp. Take it away, guys!
Shiarra: I remember the first time I went to summer camp. I was covered in ticks by the end of the first day.
Sara: Eww, yuck! I never went to that kind of summer camp. It was always ballet or painting or deportment classes for me.
Arnold: Your parents didn’t know anything about you, did they?
Sara: Not really. They were both business professionals and didn’t have a lot of time for me or my sister.
Chaz: My dad tried to get me into one of those sports camps once, but when I started showing signs of turning Were, he had to pull me out.
Royce: We never had such a thing when I was a teen. Most of my summers were spent tending crops.
Shiarra: You? A farmer?
Royce: Is it that hard to believe?
Arnold: Never took you for the type to get your hands dirty. Not that way, anyway.
Chaz: He probably wouldn’t now. These days, I bet you couldn’t get him to touch a potted plant with those manicured hands of his.
Royce: At least I wouldn’t piss on the ornamental tree in the corner to mark my territory.
Shiarra: Boys, boys, boys! Enough!
Sara: We’re supposed to be talking summer camp, not snarking at each other.
Arnold: Vampires and werewolves. Cats and dogs. Need I say more?
Chaz: Nobody asked your opinion, sparky.
Arnold: Hey, you don’t like being called a dog, I don’t like being called a spark. We clear?
Chaz: Yeah, yeah.
Shiarra: Now. Summer camp. Ahem.
Sara: I always wanted to tell ghost stories around a fire. Never got to do that as a kid.
Arnold: It’s overrated. Those stories never scared me.
Shiarra: S’mores are pretty good, though.
Shiarra: I keep forgetting you never would have tried modern food. That’s a real tragedy. S’mores are these godly little finger foods you make by the campfire. Toasted graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows.
Sara: Oh, man. Now I’m craving some.
Royce: I can eat small amounts of food, but I don’t know that they taste the same to me as they do to you. Nor do I get any nutrition out of it.
Arnold: My, I feel so educated and enriched. My day is complete.
Royce: I don’t appreciate your sarcasm, mage.
Sara: Well, I didn’t know, so I don’t mind. It’s not like vampires talk about this kind of stuff every day.
Shiarra: It’s sorta gross if you think about it. I mean . . . where does it go?
Royce: I’m not quite sure I understand what you’re asking.
Arnold: Do we really want to understand what she’s asking?
Shiarra: Oh, shush. Royce, you said you don’t get any nutrition out of it, right? I mean, vampires drink blood. Duh. So . . . uh . . . what does your body do with it?
Royce: That’s not exactly a conversation for polite company, Ms. Waynest.
Arnold: Okay. Campfire story material right there.
Chaz: Yeah, I’m with you on that. Ugh.
Sara: Nightmare material. I don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep tonight.
Shiarra: Sorry. Sometimes my mind wanders to weird places. It’s like that thing with hotdogs and hotdog buns.
Chaz: You lost me.
Arnold: Me too.
Shiarra: Oh, come on, you know that old mystery about why hotdogs come in packs of ten and buns come in packs of eight? Didn’t you guys ever wonder that when you were sitting around the fire at summer camp?
Sara: Oh, yeah. Why is that?
Arnold: Beats me.
Chaz: I never noticed.
Royce: You people think about the strangest things.
Chaz: Not “you people”. Maybe they do.
Sara: I don’t mind being considered a “you people”. I’d rather think about weird stuff than never question anything about my environment.
Shiarra: The down side to that is a complete inability to turn off the questions that should probably never be asked.
Sara: Amen to that.
Chaz: How come you never asked me anything about what it’s like being a werewolf, then?
Shiarra: Probably because I never had the chance to after I found out. With all the weird crap going on and you lying to me all the time, I didn’t exactly trust you to tell me anything about yourself or your pack.
Chaz: Stay out of this!
Arnold: Hey, just sayin’.
Royce: Werewolves are a shifty lot. Better not to put your trust into them.
Sara: Ha! I see what you did there.
Shiarra: Hehe. That was pretty clever.
Chaz: Oh, yeah. Laugh at the vampire’s jokes. Just wait. He’ll turn on you. Walking corpses always do.
Err, right. As you can see, these guys probably wouldn’t do so great sharing a bunch of s’mores around a campfire together. Did you ever go to summer camp and share stories around a campfire? What were your favorite scary stories as a kid?
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