I’ve decided to revamp the Friday Funnies and re-post the guest posts I’ve written for blog tours and such. I may sneak in a few new ones here and there. Since some of the blogs I originally wrote these for have disappeared I thought it might be a good idea to save and re-share the posts here.
I’m sure if you’re reading this blog, you’re probably familiar with my characters by now, so I’ll save you the chore of reading through my intros. For anyone who stumbles across this who is not familiar, basic info on the characters can be found here, a funnier idea of who they are (in GIFs) can be found here, and a book list/buy links can be found here. All character interviews will be tagged that way so they’re easy to find on the blog.
Now–on with the shenanigans! Shiarra and some of her friends are here to tell you a little bit about the Mothman. Over to you, Shia!
Shiarra: The Mothman? I thought we were going to be talking about the Jersey Devil.
Arnold: That one was taken.
Shiarra: Shoot. Guess I should describe it.
Chaz: Yeah, it’s sort of a regional thing. Not too many people have heard of it.
Shiarra: The Mothman was some creepy critter that ran around in the dark scaring people.
Royce: Very descriptive, Ms. Waynest. I’m sure the readers find that terribly helpful.
Shiarra: Like to hear you give it a shot, Mr. High and Mighty.
Royce: Fine. It was a man-sized creature with grey skin, red eyes, and large wings that had been spotted several times in the woods of West Virginia back in the 1960’s. Witnesses say it would mostly show itself near an abandoned factory, and would follow any cars that passed near its lair at night. Despite numerous attempts to hunt it down, no one has been successful; it finds you, not the other way around.
Shiarra: Sounds like a certain vampire I could mention.
Royce: Very funny.
Chaz: That seems kind of lame. Did it do anything other than chase people?
Royce: Not really.
Arnold: I dunno, I think the Mothman is pretty cool. Reminds me of Arthur from The Tick.
Chaz: Mothman Prophecies was a terrible movie. That have anything to do with it?
Royce: Someone made a movie about it? I doubt it had any reflection on reality. I’m sure the creature was just some Were running around in the dark, scaring people.
Shiarra: A Were-moth? Moth-Were? What?
Arnold: That sounds ridiculous. I like the way you think.
Royce: I wasn’t making an attempt to be clever. It simply seems the most logical explanation.
Chaz: I thought someone said it was a government experiment gone bad.
Shiarra: Ohhh, like the X-Men!
Arnold: I’m liking this Mothman thing more and more.
Royce: You people are absurd. It was some demonic, red-eyed creature. It supposedly flew after fleeing cars at speeds of over one hundred miles an hour. While I’m sure there’s some measure of exaggeration involved, it sounds like it must have been something supernatural to me.
Chaz: Hey, speaking from experience, most Weres don’t fly. And there’s no such thing as Were-bugs. I bet it was just some dude in a rubber suit. Maybe a Batman costume.
Arnold: Oh, yeah. With all the drugs people were doing back then, it could’ve been almost anything.
Shiarra: I’ve heard rumors that it could have been anything from a real monster to a bird. Nobody really knows. The people in the town near the factory built a statue to it, though. It’s in Point Pleasant, West Virginia, where all the sightings supposedly happened.
Chaz: When we go on that road trip next summer, we need to add that to the list of things to see. Is it anywhere near the world’s largest chicken?
Shiarra: No, that’s in Georgia. I suppose we could swing that way on the way down.
Royce: Right. And I bet you’ll go see that on your way to visit the world’s largest chainsaw. Why am I even here?
Arnold: We’re seeing that on the way back. It’s in Michigan.
Royce: . . .
Chaz: Ohhh, so is the world’s largest rifle! Can’t wait to see that.
Shiarra: Probably need it to shoot down the Mothman. That thing’s supposed to be seven feet tall.
Royce: Next we’ll be saying it breathes fire and shoots lasers from its eyes.
Arnold: Wow, did the vamp just make a joke?
Royce: Perhaps. I’m finding this conversation too illogical to take seriously.
Shiarra: You covering for something?
Arnold: Methinks the vamp doth protest too much.
Royce: You can’t be serious. What would I have to do with it?
Shiarra: Oh, I know! Maybe Mothman was a vampire!
Arnold: Possible. Red, glowing eyes, only seen at night, hangs out in the backwoods of West Virginia—sounds like it could’ve been a feral vamp.
Royce: First of all, no. Second of all, vampires cannot fly. While there are some natural laws we defy, gravity is not one of them.
Chaz: Maybe not, but an elder vampire can run faster than a Were. I bet you it was some vamp with a sense of humor dressed up in a cape and rubber suit running really fast after those people.
Royce: What? How could you even—
Shiarra: I like this theory. Let’s vote on it! Everyone who agrees Mothman was a vamp, say aye! Aye!
So much for a creepy critter in the woods…
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