11.20.09
Posted in Books, Entertainment, Writing at 11:16 pm by JHaines
Yes, ladies and gents… it’s (sort of) here!
WHAT IT’S ABOUT:
They are the Others — the vampires, mages, and werewolves once thought to exist only in our imaginations. Now they’re stepping out of the shadows, and nothing in our world will ever be the same again…
IN A TOWN LIKE THIS, BEING A P.I. CAN BE MURDER
Shiarra Waynest’s detective work was dangerous enough when her client base was strictly mortal. But ailing finances have forced her to accept a lucrative case that could save her firm — if it doesn’t kill her first. Shiarra has signed on to work for a high-level mage to recover an ancient artifact owned by one of New York’s most powerful vampires.
As soon as Shiarra meets scary, mesmerizing vamp Alec Royce, she knows her assignment is even more complicated than she thought. With a clandestine anti-Other group trying to recruit her, and magi being eliminated, Shiarra needs back-up and enlists her ex-boyfriend–a werewolf whose non-furry form is disarmingly appealing–and a nerdy mage with surprising talents. But it may not be enough. In a city where the undead roam, magic rules, and even the Others aren’t always what they seem, Shiarra has just become the secret weapon in a battle between good and evil–whether she likes it or not…
ADVANCE PRAISE FOR HUNTED BY THE OTHERS:
“A fun, high octane ride with a take charge heroine who will leave you wanting more.” –NY Times and USA Today bestselling author, Alexandra Ivy
“Haines’ fresh, feisty and fast-paced debut is full of litigious vampires, sexy shapeshifters and a mage sidekick akin to Bond’s Q, what more could you want?” –author, Mark Henry
“A sexy, bruising tango of supernatural fun and vampiric mayhem.” –author, Mario Acevedo
PREORDER IT NOW!
Now you, too, can preorder this lovely little gem from Borders, Amazon or Amazon UK! Scheduled for release in May, 2010, you — yes, YOU! — can be the first kid on your block to own the shiny and new HUNTED BY THE OTHERS, first book in the H&W Investigations Series!
This shameless advertisement brought to you by the letter:
-J
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11.12.09
Posted in Books, Writing at 1:37 pm by JHaines
Novella and books
Amazon will carry them all
Oh, joyous rapture!
Yes, that was a haiku to celebrate Amazon now officially carrying my first book, HUNTED BY THE OTHERS! For those joining us from across the pond, you can order the book from Amazon UK. Of course, it isn’t out yet, but you can preorder! Which is awesome! And amazing! And totally inspiring a wacky happy dance over here!
Warning: I’m going to use an excess of exclamation points… now!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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11.10.09
Posted in Entertainment, Writing at 1:42 pm by JHaines
Have I been working on the edits to book two, you ask? Did I finally finish that novella?!
Well, no.
Instead, I found a great diversion on The Rejectionist’s blog last week! You see, he was holding a very special contest (you should totally check out all the submissions in the comments because — hot damn — most of those entries are amazing).
The gist of the contest is as follows:
YOUR CHALLENGE: Come up with THE MOST AMAZING Form Rejection in the History of the Universe.
So, the contest is over, and I made The Longlist of True and and Total Amazement (aka, the honorable mentions — which you should click on immediately, because the other winners are freaking hilarious)! I won for the category of Best Musical. Mwahaha!
Brian Buckley was the Right Honorable Compositor of THE MOST AMAZING Form Rejection in the History of the Universe — another reason you should check it out, ’cause his entry is mind-bogglingly AWESOME.
While you should totally hit up that blog, to save you some clicking around, this was my submission:
Dear [Author],
Is this your idea of a joke? Please, God, tell me it is. My only response to such a travesty can be:
At first I was afraid,
I was petrified!
Kept thinkin’ I couldn’t really believe my eyes
Then I spent so many nights
Just thinkin’ how you did so wrong
That I grew strong
And I tossed that ms with some tongs
But now you’re back!
From cyberspace!
I can’t believe you wrote me thrice
After that last rejection told you, “Cease!”
You should’ve changed that stupid plot
I should’ve blocked your ISP
If I’d have known for just one second
You’d be back to bother me
Go on now, go!
Walk out the door!
Just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with your outline
Did you think I’d crumble?
Did you think I’d lay down and reply
Oh no, not I!
I will decline!
Oh, as long as I know how to write
I know I’ll say “Denied!”
I’ve got all these books to read
Don’t have time for you to give
And I’ll decline,
I will decline, hey hey!
It took all the strength I had
Not to fall apart
Kept tryin’ hard to mend
These pieces of my broken mind
And I spent so many nights
Just feelin’ sorry for myself
I used to cry
But now I hold my standards high
And you see me
Somebody new
I’m not that agent in the Bronx
Who’s so in love with you
And so you felt like droppin’ it
And just expect me to say, “Keen!”
But now I’m savin’ all my feedback
For someone who’s got a zombie-werewolf theme
Go on now, go!
Walk out the door!
Just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with your outline
Did you think I’d crumble?
Did you think I’d lay down and reply
Oh no, not I!
I will decline!
Oh, as long as I know how to write
I know I’ll say “Denied!”
I’ve got all these books to read
Don’t have time for you to give
So I will decline,
I will decline, oh…
Go on now, go!
Walk out the door!
Just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with your outline
Did you think I’d crumble?
Did you think I’d lay down and reply
Oh no, not I!
I will decline!
Oh, as long as I know how to write
I know I’ll say “Denied!”
I’ve got all these books to read
Don’t have time for you to give
So I will decline,
I will decline
I will decline!
…If this wasn’t a joke, then I strongly recommend you consider professional help. Perhaps Barbara Bauer or PublishAmerica can help you.
Sincerely,
The Rejectionist
P.S. Steve, if that was you, it really wasn’t funny.
…Okay, back to work! To the novella — away!
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11.06.09
Posted in Friends at 10:39 pm by JHaines
Wonder of wonders, you can now follow me on Facebook! Check it out:
Jess Haines
Create Your Badge
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