Tag Archives: All Things Urban Fantasy

Brooklyn Ann and I Need Your Help Picking A Movie!

FAIL at Movie Line-Up

I’ve got something a little different in place of the Friday Funnies this week. You may recall I recently had Brooklyn Ann stop by my blog for an interview.

I’ll be the first to admit–I have a problem. I’m addicted to bad movies. Just ask Brooklyn Ann (or check out my Top 10 Best Bad Movies on All Things Urban Fantasy). We’ve been discussing what awful cinematic crime against humanity to watch together.

Since we live so far from each other, we’re gong to pick an awful movie to put on at the same time and live-tweet our thoughts, MST-style, on Twitter.

This is where you come in. We need your help! Vote for the worst of the worst out of the 5 bad movies in the poll below that you’d like to see us riff on Twitter. Once we have some votes and narrow down our selection, we’ll announce the date, time, and hashtag for you to join along the fun and games.

First, the official trailers (most NSFW) for each movie:

TOKYO ZOMBIE

Tokyo Zombies Trailer #2 (2005) Tadanobu Asano, Sho Aikawa

Watch this video on YouTube.

VAMPIRE EFFECT

Vampire Effect Trailer

Watch this video on YouTube.

FRANKENHOOKER

Frankenhooker (1990) Trailer

Watch this video on YouTube.

ONE EYED MONSTER

One-Eyed Monster – Official Trailer – ON DVD NOW!

Watch this video on YouTube.

NIGHT OF THE DEMONS

Night of the Demons (1988) – THEATRICAL TRAILER

Watch this video on YouTube.

And now, the poll:

Which craptastic movie should Brooklyn Ann and Jess Haines live-tweet?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

ABOUT BROOKLYN ANN

Website / Twitter / Facebook

Bite Me Your GraceBite Me, Your Grace

London’s Lord Vampire Has Problems

Dr. John Polidori’s tale “The Vampyre” burst upon the Regency scene along with Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein after that notorious weekend spent writing ghost stories with Lord Byron.

A vampire crazy broke out instantly in the haut ton.

Now Ian Ashton, the Lord Vampire of London, has to attend tedious balls, linger in front of mirrors, and eat lots of garlic in an attempt to quell the gossip.

If that weren’t annoying enough, his neighbor, Angelica Winthrop has literary aspirations of her own and is sneaking into his house at night just to see what she can find.

Hungry, tired, and fed up, Ian is in no mood to humor his beautiful intruder…

“Ann’s breezy and entertaining debut features strong prose and interesting characters” – Publishers Weekly

“Ann has come up with a charming debut that captures the light and dark of the era. Readers who crave both a classic Regency and a shadowy paranormal will sink their teeth into Ann’s tale, with its engaging characters and light touches, and wonder just what clever tale she’ll come up with next.” – RT Book Reviews

Catch up on the whole series!

1. Bite Me, Your Grace
2. One Bite Per Night (Coming November 5, 2013)
3. Untitled, Coming Soon

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Forsaken by the Others Official Blog Tour Calendar

FBTO Blog Tour Button

FORSAKEN BY THE OTHERS
BLOG TOUR CALENDAR

Join The Hunt: May 25 – July 20

Saturday, May 25 A GREAT Read
Sunday, May 26 I Smell Sheep
Monday, May 27 All Fantasy Worlds
Wednesday, May 29 Smash Attack Reads
Friday, May 31 What the Cat Read
Sunday, June 2 Amberkatz Book Reviews
Tuesday, June 4 Pearls Cast Before a McPig
Wednesday, June 5 The Book Swarm
Thursday, June 6 Book Savvy Babes
Friday, June 7 My Bookish Ways
Monday, June 10 Author Jennifer Estep’s Blog
Wednesday, June 12 The Book Rat
Thursday, June 13 Author Brooklyn Ann’s Blog
Friday, June 14 Seduced By Books
Saturday, June 15 Gizmo’s Reviews
Monday, June 17 Little Read Riding Hood
Tuesday, June 18 Tynga’s Reviews
Wednesday, June 19 Urban Fantasy Investigations
Thursday, June 20 NiceGirlsTV.com
Friday, June 21 Insane Hussein
Saturday, June 22 That’s What I’m Talking About – Twimom227
Monday, June 24 Between Dreams and Reality
Wednesday, June 26 Stella Ex Libris
Thursday, June 27 Books Make Me Happy
Friday, June 28 Larissa’s Bookish Life
Saturday, June 29 SF Signal
Monday, July 1 I Smell Sheep
Tuesday, July 2 Wicked Little Pixie
Thursday, July 4 All Things Urban Fantasy

BOOK SIGNING
Friday, July 05, 2013
7:30PM
Mysterious Galaxy Redondo Beach Book Store
2810 Artesia Blvd.
Redondo Beach, CA 90278

Monday, July 8 Mamakitty Reviews
Tuesday, July 9 USA Today’s Happy Ever After
Thursday, July 11 Fictitious Musings
Saturday, July 13 Literary Escapism (Join the Phone Interview and Ask Me Anything at 4PM EST/1PM PST!)

BOOK SIGNING
Sunday, July 14, 2013
2:00PM
Dark Delicacies Book Store
3512 W. Magnolia
Burbank, CA 91505

Monday, July 15 Paranormal Haven
Wednesday, July 17 Bastard Book Reviews
Friday, July 19 Babbling About Books & More
Saturday, July 20 The Qwillery

FORSAKEN BY THE OTHERS
The Hunt Is On
July 2nd, 2013

Coming July 2, 2013
Coming July 2, 2013

The Others–vampires, werewolves, things that go chomp in the night–don’t just live in nightmares anymore. They’ve joined with the mortal world. And for private investigator Shiarra Waynest, that means mayhem…

Have a one night stand with a vampire, and you can end up paying for it for eternity. P.I. Shiarra Waynest, an expert on the Others, knows that better than most. Yet here she is, waking up beside charismatic vamp Alec Royce with an aching head…and neck. Luckily, Shia has the perfect excuse for getting out of town–namely, a couple of irate East Coast werewolf packs who’d like to turn her into a chew toy.

On Royce’s suggestion, Shia temporarily relocates to Los Angeles. But something is rotten–literally–in the state of California, where local vampires are being attacked by zombies. Who could be powerful enough to control them–and reckless enough to target the immortal? Following the trail will lead Shia to a terrifying truth, and to an ancient enemy with a personal grudge…

Pre-Order Now:
Amazon / Amazon UK / Amazon Canada
Barnes & Noble
Book Depository
Books-A-Million
Powells
Indiebound

US GIVEAWAY

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

INTERNATIONAL GIVEAWAY

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Forsaken by the Others Blog Tour Is Shaping Up

July seems so close, yet so far away! Just a few short months left before zombie mayhem hits the streets of Los Angeles. I’ve got a lot of awesome stops lined up for the tour, and I’ll be sharing the details soon.

Until then, make sure you catch up on the rest of the H&W Investigations novels–Forsaken by the Others will be here before you know it.

Coming July 2, 2013
Coming July 2, 2013

The Others–vampires, werewolves, things that go chomp in the night–don’t just live in nightmares anymore. They’ve joined with the mortal world. And for private investigator Shiarra Waynest, that means mayhem. . .

Have a one night stand with a vampire, and you can end up paying for it for eternity. P.I. Shiarra Waynest, an expert on the Others, knows that better than most. Yet here she is, waking up beside charismatic vamp Alec Royce with an aching head. . .and neck. Luckily, Shia has the perfect excuse for getting out of town–namely, a couple of irate East Coast werewolf packs who’d like to turn her into a chew toy.

On Royce’s suggestion, Shia temporarily relocates to Los Angeles. But something is rotten–literally–in the state of California, where local vampires are being attacked by zombies. Who could be powerful enough to control them–and reckless enough to target the immortal? Following the trail will lead Shia to a terrifying truth, and to an ancient enemy with a personal grudge. . .

“It doesn’t get much better for pure urban fantasy than Jess Haines.” –All Things Urban Fantasy

Pre-order now:

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Brief Update

I’m under deadline, so I’m going to be a bit quiet on the blog for another couple of weeks. As soon as I finish book 5 I’ll start regular updates again.

Until then, here are some things to amuse you! (Check all three links for giveaways!)

Shiarra Talks About New York City in Deadly Destinations with All Things Urban Fantasy

Vote for Royce in Stomp vs. Romp with The Book Nympho (The giveaway includes an H&W Investigations T-shirt. This is your only way to get your hands on one right now outside of snagging one at a convention!)

The H&W Gang Chat Around the Campfire for Paranormal Summer Camp hosted by Tynga’s Reviews

Behave yourselves while I’m away! I’ll be back to regular blogging and Friday Funnies as soon as I can.

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STALKING THE OTHERS Official Blog Tour Calendar

STALKING THE OTHERS
BLOG TOUR CALENDAR

Stalk This Book: May 25 – July 13

Friday, May 25, 2012 Sara’s Urban Fantasy Blog
Saturday, May 26, 2012 Fictitious Musings
Monday, May 27, 2012 Author Shiloh Walker’s Blog
Monday, May 28, 2012 A Great Book is the Cheapest Vacation
Tuesday, May 29, 2012 The Qwillery
Wednesday, May 30, 2012 Book Girl of Mur-y-Castell
Thursday, May 31, 2012 Literary Escapism
Monday, June 04, 2012 Bibliophilic Book Blog
Tuesday, June 05, 2012 Steven’s Cybrary
Wednesday, June 06, 2012 Between Dreams and Reality
Thursday, June 07, 2012 From the Shadows
Friday, June 08, 2012 Seduced by Books
Sunday, June 10, 2012 Notes of Life
Monday, June 11, 2012 Bibliophilic Book Blog
Tuesday, June 12, 2012 Book Lovers, Inc.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012 A Great Book is the Cheapest Vacation
Thursday, June 14, 2012 That’s What I’m Talking About
Friday, June 15, 2012 Fictitious Musings
Saturday, June 16, 2012 Insane Hussein
Sunday, June 17, 2012 Gizmo’s Reviews
Monday, June 18, 2012 Books Make Me Happy
Tuesday, June 19, 2012 Ex Libris Book Reviews
Wednesday, June 20, 2012 Pearls Cast Before A McPig
Thursday, June 21, 2012 Alise On Life
Friday, June 22, 2012 My Bookish Ways
Saturday, June 23, 2012 Book Faery
Sunday, June 24, 2012 Amberkatze’s Book Blog
Monday, June 25, 2012 I Smell Sheep
Tuesday, June 26, 2012 All Things Urban Fantasy
Wednesday, June 27, 2012 Dark Faerie Tales
Thursday, June 28, 2012 Smexy Books
Friday, June 29, 2012 The Qwillery
Saturday, June 30, 2012 Babbling About Books & More
Sunday, July 01, 2012 Soap Box In My Mind
Monday, July 02, 2012 Urban Fantasy Investigations
Tuesday, July 03, 2012 Wicked Little Pixie
Friday, July 06, 2012 USA Today’s Happy Ever After Blog

BOOK SIGNING
Saturday, July 07, 2012
2:00PM
Dark Delicacies Book Store
3512 W. Magnolia
Burbank, CA 91505

Monday, July 09, 2012 Bitten By Books
Friday, July 13, 2012 Pearls Cast Before A McPig

STALKING THE OTHERS
It’s Coming For You
July 3rd, 2012

Pre-Order Now:
Amazon / Amazon UK / Amazon Canada
Barnes & Noble
Book Depository
Books-A-Million
Powells
Indiebound

Get a head start on the festivities! Join me tomorrow with my host, Jackie at Literary Escapism, at 6:30PM PST / 9:30PM EST to ask me anything about the H&W Investigations Series!

Call-in Number: 724.444.7444
Call ID: 93065

(more…)

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Show Your Love for the H&W Gang!

Thought I’d share a couple of fun things.  Sally from the Qwillery has been absolutely delightful and put together some awesome Team Royce and Team White Hat buttons (these are just the images–you can hit me up for the code if you want to feature any of these on your blog since I’m technologically challenged at the moment how to make it show up in a WordPress post):

Team White Hat
Team Royce 1
Team Royce 2
Team Royce 3

Also, thanks to Abigail from All Things Urban Fantasy for prompting I’m Loving Books to make these fabulous H&W Investigations-themed banners! There are a lot of other great book series banners on that site (Harry Potter, Twilight, Hunger Games, Lord of the Rings, House of Night, etc), so if you like these, you might want to check it out.

H&W Investigations by Jess Haines

H&W Investigations by Jess Haines

H&W Investigations by Jess Haines

H&W Investigations by Jess Haines

If you know of any other images or banners or Team Royce/Chaz/White Hat/Whatevs buttons, or make one yourself, let me know and I’ll feature them here on the blog!

Also, if you are so inclined, you can swing over by the Vampire Book Club and enter the Alpha Showdown!  *cough*Royce or Shia*cough*  Looks like there is a giveaway, too. I remember how things went last year–it’s worth sticking around to see the showdown updates.

Lastly, just a quick reminder that the giveaway for an ARC of Stalking the Others is still open.

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Some Authors and Reviewers Are Having Angries on the Internet

WARNING:

Bad Language and Strong Opinions Ahead

I’m going to be frank.

This shit don’t fly, yo.

While authors getting pissy on the internet is nothing new, it seems in the last week or so there has been an explosion of angrypants and stupid behavior on blogs and Goodreads.  Did you hear about the one on Goodreads where the author called a reviewer horrible names? And then she requested that her friends/fans help manipulate the Amazon reviews so the review that got her panties in a twist would drop in standings?  No?

Good fucking Christ. I am ashamed of my fellow authors right now.

Look, here’s your guide to ettiquette on a review blog:

  1. Oh, look! A review! Say: “Thank you!”  Perhaps prance about in flowers and fart some rainbows or something if it’s a good one. Be happy that someone who is not your mom, your brother, or your roommate, decided to talk about your book on the internet!
  2. Boo. The reviewer had some mean things to say about the book. Nuts.  You know what you do? MOVE ON.  If you absolutely must say something, leave it at: “I’m sorry this one didn’t work for you. I hope you’ll enjoy the next one more.”  If you feel the need to rant or cry about it, do it privately.  As in not on the internet where author implosions are forever.
  3. That. Is. It.

This is not a difficult concept. Reviews are not for the author.  Reviews are the reviewer’s opinion–what they think about the book, not what you think they should think or say–and they should not have to be designed with your feelings in mind.  Stacia Kane has an excellent post detailing why this is, so I’m not going to rehash something that someone else already said (and very intelligently, I might add).

Just this morning I woke up to this in my inbox from Abigail at All Things Urban Fantasy.  This is the kind of thing that makes me sad.  I’m not self published, but I do have friends who are, and I’ve read some great self pubbed books.  It’s truly unfortunate that they will have an even harder time finding (free/cheap) publicity for their books because of the bad behavior of others.

This asshattery that is making reviewers want to run and hide from authors is pissing me off, because it makes the rest of us look bad. In case it wasn’t obvious from the tone of this post, it really gets under my skin. I don’t want to be equated with the people who don’t know basic rules of conduct. I don’t want reviewers to be afraid of voicing their opinions for fear of offending me or alienating me or making me go on a rampage.  I don’t want reviewers to turn away my offers to send them my book to review because, God forbid, I might not like what they have to say.  Most of all, I don’t want reviewers to stop being willing to help me or my fellow authors who know how to behave themselves.

Reviewers?  Look, I’m loud. I’m opinionated. But I’m not a dick. I’m disorganized and occasionally forget when something is due to you. Sometimes I let off-the-internet priorities override things I planned to do online, and, yes, once in a while I even screw up.  Hey, I’m human, you know? It’s also okay with me if you don’t like my books. I’ll still be your friend, I’ll still talk to you on Twitter, and I’ll still smile and shake your hand at conventions.

Other authors, take note.  Reviews aren’t personal.  Reviewers are people with opinions, too.  I’m sure you haven’t loved every single book you’ve ever gotten your hands on or every movie you’ve ever seen or every meal you’ve ever eaten.  You’ve probably bitched about that shitty restaurant downtown with the slow service and overpriced food, or the way the TSA manhandled you at the airport and the airline lost your luggage, or that asshole in Customer Service who wasn’t at all helpful or understanding when you called to complain about your bill–or how you can’t believe you paid full price for a movie ticket to see that crappy film or that hard cover book or….

Get the idea?

So, seriously. Stop being fuckwads. As both an author and a reviewer, your behavior makes me not want to deal with you, and makes other authors look bad.

I don’t like to complain without also offering some insight as to how something can be improved, so in that spirit, here are some tips (there are probably other things you can do, but I’m still too angry to think of more right now):

  1. Other than to thank reviewers for their time–if that–do not respond to reviews.  I don’t care if they didn’t finish it and only read the first two sentences before they decided to hate your book and you just want to make sure they understand what a mistake they are making because your magnum opus really gets moving on page 318.  YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BADGER REVIEWERS.  PERIOD.
  2. Do not rate or review your own work. This is terrifically tacky.
  3. Similarly, do not pretend to be someone else and review your own work. Not only is this extra-terrifically tacky, 99.999% of the time, your sock puppet will be found out, and you will be laughed at on the internet.
  4. Reviews by your friends and family members do not count when you are trying to sell someone on reading your work. It just makes you look desperate for approval and no one will take you seriously. What you should be quoting when you’re promoting your work are reviews by established publications (Locus, Publishers Weekly, NY Times Book Review, etc) or by bloggers who are well known for their reviews of your genre (e.g., in romance a good blurb from Dear Author is great, in urban fantasy a good blurb from All Things Urban Fantasy or Bitten By Books is awesome, etc).  Circle-jerk blurbs and reviews by fellow small-press authors doesn’t impress anyone, and it’s even worse when it’s very obvious you’re all giving each other glowing praise or 5-star Amazon reviews and your names all appear on each others’ work.

Reviewers, here is your handy guide for dealing with authors:

  1. Not all authors are assholes.  Please don’t paint us all with the same brush.
  2. On the same note, we–authors–are people, too. Some of us are grumpy, some of us are nice, some of us are overwhelmed.  Many of us love to hear from you and are grateful to work with you to promote our work. If we can’t do something for you right away, it’s not because we don’t love you.  Most of the time it’s because we have something pressing we’re dealing with (kids, jobs, deadlines–the same kind of crap you have to deal with, only sometimes with thousands of dollars on the line if we don’t fulfill our contractual obligations). Don’t be afraid to try us again later.
  3. Make your review policy clear.  There is nothing wrong with ATUF’s review policy about choosing not to accept self published titles–but if that’s how you feel, then make your policy clear and easy to find on your website.  If you don’t like genre X and would never read it, say so.  If you prefer to receive genre Y, say so.
  4. Don’t make things in a review personal. “Cripes, that author’s picture is ugly!” “The author must be stupid to think this plot would work.” That sort of thing. Feel free to say “This story is hopelessly stupid and I couldn’t stand how dumb the hero was and, my God, the plot holes are big enough to drive a Mack truck through” if that’s how you feel. Just leave the author (their looks, personal experiences, intelligence, and whatever else) out of it.

Thanks for listening to my rant.  I’m done for now.

How about we end this on a positive note?  Any reviewers want to chime in with some good experiences they’ve had with authors?  Maybe recommend some nice authors to work with?

Posted in Rants & Raves | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Just a brief update….

If you missed them:

  • Did you catch my giveaway celebrating the release of THE REAL WEREWIVES OF VAMPIRE COUNTY?  Come win some swag!

Also, a reminder that you can find me on:

And, just for kicks, since I posted snippets on Twitter and Facebook, here is one more sneak peek into the work in progress just for the blog followers:

It ducked its head under the frame and stepped into the room, having to stoop so as not to bang its head on the ceiling.  Ropy muscle bulged across a thick chest and long, talon-tipped arms.  Sleek black fur covered the vaguely humanoid frame of the monster before me.  It moved with a smooth, deliberate grace as it approached me.  A beautiful and terrible hybrid of human and wolf, like a magnificent living sculpture of pure, condensed predator, coming for my blood.

A predator I recognized.

Dillon.

The rat bastard.  The asshole who infected me.

His lip lifted, revealing yellowed dagger fangs, even bigger than those of the wolf I’d just defeated.  Claw-tipped fingers flexed and he arched his back, dog-like head lowering until he was nearly my height and presenting a slightly smaller target.  Say, the size of a VW Bug instead of an Escalade.

(Disclaimer: This is from a rough draft of STALKING THE OTHERS; text is subject to change between now and the release of the book.)

Have a great Halloween, everybody!

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It’s Release Day for DECEIVED BY THE OTHERS!

Today’s the day, folks!  DECEIVED BY THE OTHERS (H&W Investigations Book 3) is now in stores everywhere!

So, have you picked up your copy yet?  If not, here are just a few of the places where you can find it:

If you haven’t done so already, you can enter the release day giveaway here.  Also, for those new to the H&W series, you can download HUNTED BY THE OTHERS on Nook and Kindle for FREE for the next couple of days! 

 If you missed them, I’ve had a number of guest posts go up in the last couple of weeks, too.  Need an additional H&W fix?  Check out what Shia, Chaz, Royce, Arnold and Sara are arguing about this time, enter some giveaways, and even read a short story about Devon saving a fair maiden in distress!

Also, some more excellent reviews for DECEIVED:

Since the book just came out, I ask that you please keep any spoilerific comments to a minimum on this blog post.  Feel free to write me a personal letter about it (it might take me a little to get back to you, but I will answer every one that I receive) or head over to the fan club forum and discuss it there.

Thanks to all of my friends, family, and fantastic fans!  Hope you all love DECEIVED BY THE OTHERS!

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The Saturday News Post is Back!

Hello, gentle readers! So good to be back. I’ve missed you all!

Now, on to the good stuff….

First, Max Brooks, New York Times bestselling author of THE ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE and WORLD WAR Z, has a free short story up on The Daily Beast. I strongly suggest you read it, because it is made of awesomesauce.

Speaking of awesomesauce, McK has decided to (FINALLY) put his hysterical version of what happened when we went to see the first Twilight movie in theaters up on his blog. You should read it. You should also read his short bit on The Death of Big Bird. The hilarity. He haz it.

There are a few other free reads available around the net. For example, JoJo’s Book Corner posted about J. Alexander’s smexy short, BECOMING DINNER, available for free from Smashwords (enter this coupon code at checkout: CY76Z). Remember to thank Ms. Alexander on JoJo’s blog if you like it! Or you can head over to OmniLit or its sister site, All Romance Ebooks–though some of those stories are VERY spicy, meant for those 18+–for over 250 free ebooks available for download (thanks to Jackie for pointing out the link)!

Also, kudos to Le R for living her dream! The Rejectionist will no longer be rejecting us from inside the publishing industry, for she has sallied forth onto the streets of New York to become a published author. Good luck, Le R. You can do it!

Oh, and if you haven’t already, you should enter the Valentine’s Day NOCTURNAL giveaway, or share your entry for the TAKEN BY THE OTHERS / DECEIVED BY THE OTHERS giveaway!

Now, of course, I have to give a shout-out to everyone who has done a recent review of either HUNTED BY THE OTHERS:

Or TAKEN BY THE OTHERS:

And you know that no Saturday news post would be complete without a crapload of guest posts and interviews featuring yours truly!

So…. did I miss anything? *g*

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