I’ve decided to revamp the Friday Funnies and re-post the guest posts I’ve written for blog tours and such. I may sneak in a few new ones here and there. Since some of the blogs I originally wrote these for have disappeared I thought it might be a good idea to save and re-share the posts here.
I’m sure if you’re reading this blog, you’re probably familiar with my characters by now, so I’ll save you the chore of reading through my intros. For anyone who stumbles across this who is not familiar, basic info on the characters can be found here, a funnier idea of who they are (in GIFs) can be found here, and a book list/buy links can be found here. All character interviews will be tagged that way so they’re easy to find on the blog.
Now–on with the shenanigans! In Taken by the Others, Shiarra finds out what it’s like to be bound to a vampire. Seeing as there has been a great deal of talk lately about Shia and Royce, today she’s going to tell you a little about what it was like to be bound to Royce. Over to you, Shia!
Shiarra: Could we pick a more awkward subject? Yeesh.
Chaz: I’d rather we talk about anything else. Skinning my own fur off, for example.
Royce: Such dramatics. Was it really so terrible?
Shiarra: Don’t play the innocent. You know it was.
Chaz: At least with Weres, you don’t have to worry about whether you’re able to be your own person anymore if you get bitten. You have to answer to the alpha and any dominant Weres, but once you’re one of us, you’re part of the family. Not a puppet.
Shiarra: I’m not sure if that’s much better, honey.
Royce: Don’t let his statements mislead you. Any dominant wolf with a grudge or taken in a momentary fury might kill you by accident. I find death to be a waste. You can rest assured that any life taken by my hand is done so deliberately.
Shiarra: Do you listen to yourself? “Hi, my name is Creepy McCreepypants, and I’m going to talk about your eternal servitude today. Or your death. You know, whichever sounds creepier.”
Royce: That thing you did with your hand was not necessary.
Chaz: Oh, I don’t know. I think it gave her statement just the right amount of dramatic flair.
Shiarra: I try.
Royce: Ms. Waynest, perhaps you’d prefer to illuminate your beloved and the rest of the audience as to just what it was like being at my beck and call. I’d like to remind you that I never once took advantage of your charms, or caused you any harm while you were in my care.
Shiarra: Hey, guess what? That was the most stressful and traumatic event of my life. I’m not interested in taking a trip down Memory Lane, so back off, you fu—
Royce: Yes, because I was so terribly cruel to you, saving you from potentially being drawn to the side of my rival, Max Carlyle, sheltering you, and respecting your wish to remain unsullied by my hands.
Shiarra: And gloating at my situation and lack of choice in the matter wasn’t an issue, oh-h-h-h-h, no.
Royce: Are you telling me I’m not allowed to be pleased when I have drawn a new member into my fold?
Chaz: Not when you’re talking about my girlfriend, leech. She’s not yours, so back the hell off.
Royce: Try me, wolf. If she’ll let you off your leash, I’ll delight in the opportunity to impart some lessons on what it really means to be an alpha.
Chaz: Why, you son of a—
Shiarra: Chaz. Don’t take his bait, he just wants to stir up a fight.
Royce: Am I that transparent?
Shiarra: I really don’t like that sarcastic tone of yours.
Royce: And I don’t like how you won’t open your eyes enough to see that I have never deliberately caused you any harm, nor have I done anything to deserve your unkind words. I’ve done nothing but aid you in your time of need.
Chaz: Nothing but make her into an unthinking marionette so you could pull her strings.
Shiarra: You haven’t got a clue what that was like. I couldn’t think of anything but you. Every thought was about what I could do to please you, to get closer, to be a better servant—I had no desire but to be around a . . . a thing that drinks blood and can’t stand sunlight. You want me to thank you for that? Please.
Royce: Would you have preferred to have continued feeling that way for Max? To have him draw you back to his side so that he could kill you out of hand, or perhaps first make you betray your friends and family—even that mangy cur at your side?
Chaz: Hey! My coat is thick and lustrous. I’ll have you know my pack has some of the best grooming habits in the state.
Shiarra: . . .
Royce: . . .
Chaz: What? It’s true.
Royce: Ahem. Back on topic. So, Ms. Waynest, let’s hear it.
Shiarra: No, you didn’t mistreat or hurt me. Yes, you could have done worse. No, I wouldn’t have wanted to go back to Max’s side. But you’re still a weird, scary, creepy, unnatural—
Royce: Desirable, dangerous, sexy predator. Yes, yes, I know.
Chaz: Modest, too, I see.
Shiarra: I was going to say walking corpse, but whatever.
Royce: You wanted me before the bond, and you still want me now. When you tire of your dog, you know where to find me.
Shiarra: Keep dreaming, you sicko.
Royce: I have eternity to wait, Ms. Waynest. When the tide changes, and the going gets rough, we’ll see who remains by your side—and who you turn to for help.
Shiarra: Hello, and welcome to my nightmare. Ugh.
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